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About Me

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Welcome to Google (whether Plus, Perfect Chaos, or the Celibacy Diaries). My name is Stacie D. Wyatt.  I am a published poet and writer (Chocolate Kisses; Love.Lust.Life., Miscarried, Conversing with Sexuality; Conversing with Salvation; Conversing with Normality; Conversations 1, Never Argue with an Autistic child and other special tales, and Conversations 2. ). 

 I am also a product and book reviewer for a few sites (BookSneeze, Blogging for Books, Bethany House, Edelweiss, Tyndale House, and Netgalley). I will post reviews here regularly. I post reviews on Perfect Chaos. 

I also have two kids: 13 years old and 3 year old. My oldest is Autistic and my youngest is developmentally delayed, autistic, and a few other things. I also enjoy writing about the ups and downs of parenting two differently-abled children.

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Saturday, May 18, 2013

Standing my ground

Being celibate does not stop people from persuading me to have sex with them. Today, I was talking to a dude via text. I met this dude on an online dating/social site. But he says he also knows me from my webcam girl days. I completely forgot about that until he sent a text asking about a particular toy (by her name). I tossed all the toys last year. I completely forgot about her and do not miss her.

The conversation started off simple: how are you doing? what are you doing? At that time, I was uploading some pictures from my phone to my e-mail for Perfect Chaos. Then, he asked for sexy pics. Ignored that text. He also wanted more information about the blog and about doing product reviews. He asked for pics again. Told him I only sent clean pics. Asked again. Then asked about the toy.

I told him kindly I tossed the toys because I am celibate. I also told him I am taking a purity course plus reading more books on purity. Then, I think the conversation turned into a test of my convictions.

He said self-gratification was a natural act and I should not deny myself. Purity comes in all forms. Funny how the second part is a contradiction. Since when is masturbation a form of purity. You still will struggle with lust (which I do). You still can get desensitized to touch. You can become addicted and it can take over your life (I did text him all these good points, based on my experiences)

He also said I should go manual and use a toy periodically. NO. Indulging even just a little can lead to a whole lot of trouble. Told him I am doing more of what God wants and I do not want my former life back.

Then he messed up big time (lost 100 % interest in talking after this. We will not meet up. We will not talk online or in-person anymore.). God doesn't have us not to be sexual. He say be fruitful and multiply. But people get there tubes tied. you even did that.  that's as sin as much as anything. 

He tried to use God against me. I'm trying to live my life more for God (I think. I hope I am improving). I did not get my tubes tied as a sin, let alone know that birth control was a sin. I got my tubes tied because I can not deal with another miscarriage. I had two. I can not go through that alone again. Never never never. Now, if God puts it on my heart to adopt or foster, once I am more stable, then I will consider it. I also got two kids, who require so much caregiving. I don't think I can handle any more. I am a high risk for miscarriage thanks to the fibroids.

Then, he wanted to know why i got fixed, then stopped having sex. Nope, I stopped having sex, found out I was pregnant, and then tied tubes 1 month after Kalen was born. That was the end of the conversation and the man got blocked.

A good way to get to know someone is to have a conversation. Being bald and somewhat attractive does not make someone the man for me. Big weakness.  I'm glad we had that conversation, otherwise I may have agreed to having lunch with him sometime in the future. Definitely glad for my purity course and the books I been reading lately.

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