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About Me

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Welcome to Google (whether Plus, Perfect Chaos, or the Celibacy Diaries). My name is Stacie D. Wyatt.  I am a published poet and writer (Chocolate Kisses; Love.Lust.Life., Miscarried, Conversing with Sexuality; Conversing with Salvation; Conversing with Normality; Conversations 1, Never Argue with an Autistic child and other special tales, and Conversations 2. ). 

 I am also a product and book reviewer for a few sites (BookSneeze, Blogging for Books, Bethany House, Edelweiss, Tyndale House, and Netgalley). I will post reviews here regularly. I post reviews on Perfect Chaos. 

I also have two kids: 13 years old and 3 year old. My oldest is Autistic and my youngest is developmentally delayed, autistic, and a few other things. I also enjoy writing about the ups and downs of parenting two differently-abled children.

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Saturday, April 27, 2013

The case of the sexy pics

I have seen a surge in the rise of sexy pics, asked for on social media and dating websites.  A full-body, clothed pic is no longer good enough. People want to see the butt, the boobs, and the vagina, immediately. In the past, I have sent sexy pics and videos, but I deleted them off my phone and deactivated all the sites, I could think of. I also do not care for penis pics. Never have. To me, pics does not equate to skills.  From personal experience, Pics do not make me want to have sex with you (unless a. I already slept with you and b) you are one of the great ones). At this point, I don't even want a pic from the great ones, because I don't need that temptation. 


Last week, a youngin hit me up on a website. He was 30 years old. We had a good conversation, until he asked for a sexy pic. His response: It was a waste of a body, if  I don't share my sexy pics. I blocked him. Then, another dude, hit me up on the same website. Another good convo. Gave him my number. He wanted sexy pics too. I told him I don't do that anymore. He never hit me up again. I blocked him as well. So glad he texted. 

I am celibate now and have no desire to tempt or tease a man, I have no interest in. I also don't want to be tempted or teased. If I decide to finally have sex with a random dude, what's to say, I won't have sex with a bunch of other random dudes. Slippery slope, but I know where I used to be. More one nighter's than repeats. Quickly deleting numbers, as soon as I got home (or on the way home, or immediately after sex).  I don't want the conversation to move from general to explicit. I don't want to discuss my sexual past with a man, especially if he can use it against me.

 For example, "You had a three some, five years ago. Why can't you make an exception for me?" I never understood that logic. I did something for someone else, hence and therefore, I should do the same for you. "You" are not doing what "he" did. "You" didn't make me feel like "he" did, but want the same sexual experience.  For me, in the past, everyone got different levels of sex, A, B, and F. The level you got depended on how I felt. Repeat sex partners got better sex. I probably can count on my fingers and toes, how many repeats I had from 18 to 30.  If I just met you, you may not get the same experience as someone, who I was having sex with for a while. If a great sex buddy was not getting a particular act, neither will you. Anyway, rambled long enough

Stacie

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Read my profile Part 2

There is nothing more annoying than when someone asks you a question, which is clearly answered in a profile, whether dating or social or even Google. Someone called me today. Asked me all the wrong questions (right questions, just most of these were answered if he simply read)


 Here are some redundant questions:

1. What's your name? ( Ask that before you call lol)
2. How old are you?
3. Do you have a picture? Plenty of pictures online on every website I am on. Are you telling me you didn't look at any of them?
4. Do you have kids?
5. Do you have a job
6. Do you really have a STD? (Yeah, if I am going to lie, I would lie about being clean and wanting tons of sex. I also want 10 kids and a house in the hills, near the water). 



Another thing, which irritated me was when he asked if I had a FB profile. I said yes. Then, he asked for user name. I said Stacie Wyatt. He said he did not understand. So, I started spelling it out for him. S is for sucks talking to you. T is for trouble. A is for annoying. C is for crazy. I is for ice cream. E is for egg. Then, before I got to my last name, he said he could not find me. WTF? How can you find someone if you a) didnt understand when I said my user name? and B) didn't let me finish spelling it out? Of course you won't find me. Ok, dummy, I can text you my user name or email it to you online. 

Of Course, the call ended short

Anyway, I feel that if I take the time to write a profile, a man should at least read part of it, if not all of it. No point in asking questions, when the answers are online. 
--

Stacie D. Wyatt

Sunday, April 14, 2013

What are you waiting for?

I am currently reading, What are you waiting for by Dannah Gresh.. I read one of her other books, prior to this and I loved it. I chose the book because it focuses on celibacy, purity, and God's design for sex.  I bought the book from Amazon last week (paperback). The paperback was on sale and cheaper than the Kindle (way cheaper 4.99). The price is back to 8.98 now. Kindle is 7.99.

The book is not for the meek, the shy, the closed minded. Gresh talks openly about sex and sex-related issues. Gresh discusses porn, masturbation, homosexuality, friends with benefits, and finding love. All of this was written from a Christian perspective. I am trying to read more books about sexuality from a Christian perspective. So much information is out there, but I want to know what God says.

The author starts out discussing her marriage--from dating to the proposal. Dannah also discussed how her old boss encouraged her to have sex and even wanted to buy condoms. She discusses how she felt conflicted between sexual freedom and sexual purity. One side says to indulge in sex and the other side says indulge in God. The battle between the spirit and flesh is a tough one. Sure, I think about sex, but I am not trying to rush back into having sex. Celibacy is hard, but it's where I need to be right now.

Dannah also discusses sex in the bible. Yada is the Hebrew word for sex. Not just any sex, "to know, to be known, to be deeply respected" (p. 17). Yada is intimate sex with someone, who truly knows you (like a husband). Yada adds a level of emotional intimacy to sex. No secrets, and nothing is held back (p. 24). Mind-body-soul connection. Yada is used more than 900 times in the Hebrew Bible. Yada does not only apply to sex, but it applies to a relationship with God. God wants to be known and respected. He wants us to seek him and follow after him with a pure heart. He does not want us to fall for counterfeit love (p. 27)

On the other hand, Shakab means sexual intercourse. Shakab is frequently used with Sikba, which means emission (p. 30). Shakab also means exchange of fluids. This is a form of counterfeit love. Having sex with someone to simply exchange fluids. This is the dirty, disgusting, yucky, awkward, shameful types of sex (p. 31). I had a lot of this type of sex and very little (or none) Yada sex. 

Finally, I started reading the chapter on Masturbation first. This was the main reason I bought the book. The bible does not offer direct teaching on masturbation (p. 72). The bible tells us not to commit adultery, which is a sin. If you look after another with lust in your heart, you are committing adultery. This may involve pornography or staring at half-naked people online (I have left groups on Facebook because of the half-naked, tempting men photos). Masturbation can also hinder our relationship with God and people. It can become addictive (which was true for me). It also may cause shame. It also can affect future relationships, such as it can rob your future husbands (or husbands) ability to please you (p. 78). The book also discusses getting an accountability partner to help you with purity, celibacy , masturbation ,and other sexual issues.

Have not finished the book yet, but will post more on things, which can help others, was well as myself on both blogs (Perfect Chaos and Celibacy Diaries).

Friday, April 12, 2013

Read my dating profile please

Do people read dating profiles anymore? A profile gives you a glimpse of the person and their personality. A profile may have a picture of the person as well.  It also shows what they want or not want in a relationship. They may smoke, drink, and may have an STD. They may want or not want kids. Maybe they don't have a job. Some profiles also give no information, such as people, who want you to "ask me" for more information.

I joined a new dating site the day before my birthday. I mention I am fixed, celibate, got herpes, and got kids. I also state I am separated and not looking for a relationship.  Yet, I get messages from men, who want kids, want sex, or want a relationship. One dude got mad at me because I did not want a good man because I would not sleep with him. The best feature is the "Im not interested button". So, if a dude hits me up and says " Cum see me". I don't have to respond, I hit "Im not interested" and he is blocked. I noticed the same thing on other websites, as well. People hitting me up and we are simply incompatible, based on their profile. (especially on the kids issue).

but let's discuss sex. I been celibate for years now. If you are looking for sex, why hit up a determined celibate woman? I have no desire to have sex and I have a low sex drive. I also don't want to see XXX pics or send out any. I know in the past, I was attracted to celibate men. I would talk to them, sex them, and then delete their number. I had a string of like 5 or 6 men, who was celibate before meeting me. I took their celibacy and never contacted them again. I did not feel bad because I was all about the sex. On to the next one. I know the thrill of the challenge of getting someone, who is not having sex. But that was the wrong attitude to have. I did not care about these men.  I did not understand why they wanted more sex, when I had more one nighters, than anything else. I was not committed to any of them. Very few, very few I contacted again. I definitely don't want someone to do me the same way now.

I think as I got older, had the kids, went through some things, I realize how bad , horrible, despicable, addictive, I used to be. I also know this is not a uncommon attitude, when it comes to sex. Some people simply do not have emotions, feelings, or commitment towards their sex partners. It is a sexual relationship--not trying to get anything more. I remember, one time, I was upset with the ex-husband, and I vented to a sex buddy. He simply told me--he was here for the sex and not to mention anyone else again. I was hurt--but I learned quick. Sex is sex-a quick temporary release for both parties. Since He was a repeat and wanted to keep him around, I never tried to have a conversation about any topic, with him again. The oral sex was good and I was not deleting any man, who loved oral (and loved oral  on me) escape. Shoot, I cried more when the sexual relationship ended between myself and a man, who gave oral. That hurt worse--like I said SEX ADDICT, nympho.

I posted a blog on Perfect Chaos about incompatibility. You have to find someone, who meets your basic qualifications. Not all your interests will be met, you may have to compromise, but he or she needs to meet some standards. Anyway, I rambled long enough

SDW

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Release me

I was a late bloomer to many things: sex, dating, and orgasms. I did not experience my first one, until years after I was married. It took a sex toy to accomplish that blissful task. It also took fingers. I loved how an orgasm felt\ and I wanted more and more and more and more. Buying new toys at Spencers each month. Hiding them from the ex-husband. I was an addict. I struggle with this big time. Even though I am not bad as I used to be, I still struggle.

I started taking the setting captives free course  (way of purity) last year to deal with my various addictions. I do have an addiction personality. I realized lately orgasms is a means to a release, but it does not stop the bills from coming. it does not stop the kids from acting out. it does not solve any immediate or future problems. It does nothing but give an immediate release or an escape, but then i snap back to reality. Same problems, new problems, and nothing is solved from an orgasm. You feel better for a moment and --then what--nothing has changed, but maybe a happy, temporary attitude, or glow.


Welcome to the Celibacy Diaries

Welcome to the Celibacy Diaries. I started this blog post as a diary to celibacy. I am Stacie, 33, African-American, living in Houston. I have had herpes since 2004 I been celibate since November, 2010. No sex. Have not met anyone in that time either. I gave up porn in 2011. I tossed out the toys in 2012ish or early 2013. I still struggle with other things though. I was a sex addict, porn addict, toy addict, and masturbation addict.

More about me:

I have two kids. 12 year old boy and a 23 month boy. Both are special needs. I am an author, poet, short story writer, blogger, book reviewer, and product reviewer. I am currently taking a celibacy course though Setting Captives Free. The course is the Way of Purity course.

What to expect from the blog:

To discuss celibacy and other sex-related issues. I also will do book reviews on here--if the book relates to celibacy, stds, or other topics deemed appropriate. I am currently reading two books on the topic. One by Dannah Gresh(paperback) and the other on Porn addiction (advanced reader copy).

You can expect honesty, bluntness, and openness at times.

Thank you for reading

SDW