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About Me

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Welcome to Google (whether Plus, Perfect Chaos, or the Celibacy Diaries). My name is Stacie D. Wyatt.  I am a published poet and writer (Chocolate Kisses; Love.Lust.Life., Miscarried, Conversing with Sexuality; Conversing with Salvation; Conversing with Normality; Conversations 1, Never Argue with an Autistic child and other special tales, and Conversations 2. ). 

 I am also a product and book reviewer for a few sites (BookSneeze, Blogging for Books, Bethany House, Edelweiss, Tyndale House, and Netgalley). I will post reviews here regularly. I post reviews on Perfect Chaos. 

I also have two kids: 13 years old and 3 year old. My oldest is Autistic and my youngest is developmentally delayed, autistic, and a few other things. I also enjoy writing about the ups and downs of parenting two differently-abled children.

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Tuesday, December 2, 2014

What's not being said



I reached my four-year celibacy anniversary earlier this month. I couldn't of the right words to create a post.

I thought of this post yesterday, What's not being said? I thought about all the things, I have done sexually, which I never told anyone because of embarrassment or shame or plain stupidity. I have enough regrets when it comes to sex, but the mistakes are at the top of the sexual pyramid.

Those things, which can question someone's relationship with me. Those things, which left a scarlet letter on my chest. The Jerry Springer show moments. Those things, I tried to forget about and repress because I was so dumb and stupid.

Things, which will never be published, never be revealed, but always wondering why in the hell did I do them? I have learned from past sexual mistakes, but sometimes, I have to keep the mistakes between me and God.

God, What was I thinking?

Stacie D. Wyatt

Sunday, November 2, 2014

#30dayChallenge Update


This is the update to the #30DayChallenge issued in August. I know I am absolutely late on this update, but I did not want to admit defeat.


In August, I failed 6 times. After not succeeding, I extended the challenge into September, where I failed 5 times. In October, finally, I made it 31 days without self-pleasure. I had to hold myself accountable to what I post. I noticed when I tracked the days, those self-defeating thoughts would creep in. You know you will fail. You know you are not having sex. You need to release some stress. I caved and failed for two months.

I went to a church sermon in August called At the Feet of Jesus Part 3. Pastor Mike said we should

 Be transmitters while being changed. If you used to do something, but not as much, that's a change. My testimony does not require perfection

I thought my testimony required perfection. I could not post about the challenge if I did not succeed. I did not want to admit defeat. I used to have sex 3-6 days a week. Then, I went to 1-2 days a week, and then finally 0. It is almost my 4 year anniversary of not having sex. The journey has been hard.

It was hard giving up the porn, the toys, and masturbation. I gave up porn a year after hearing a voice, I needed to stop. I didn't want to watch porn around my kids. I gave up the toys after a lot of debate. But after the toys were gone, I resorted to one of two methods. Then, the guilt started coming in.

I never felt guilty before after self-pleasure. I started to feel guilty. I didn't like that feeling at all.

What made me succeed?

First, I did not track the time, I did and did not masturbate. I noticed when I tracked August and September, the self defeating thoughts would occur more. I also tried not to focus on masturbation. When I stayed in the tub or shower too long, I had to remind myself to get out the tub and then get out. Get out the tub, get out the bathroom. I had to talk myself out of it, a lot.

What will help me continue to succeed?


Not sure, but I will try to provide an update to let you know my progress. 

Future post

I thought of a great post about the perception of masturbation for a future post. This post will require me to use my journalism degree and do some research, create an outline, and post some content.

Thursday, September 25, 2014

The Power of a Tag



I thought of this post a while and am just now publishing it. Thought of the message in church.

Today in church, a woman told me my shirt tag was out and I tucked it in. I never noticed the tag was out. It did not bother me.

But I began to wonder when did tags start sticking out became taboo Tags can be annoying and irritating but tags also provide care instructions. How to wash and properly dry for long wear? If you don't like the tag, you can rip it out or cut it out.

So let's apply that to our lives. When we have something sticking out at us--whether a problem, concern, or issue-- we can do the following:


  1. Wait for someone to tell us we have a problem. Tuck it in and hide the problem without really resolving the issue. 
  2. Develop a care routine  to resolve the problem or maintain it because some people really love their problems. 
  3. Cut it out/Rip it out. Remove the problem or issue, either carefully to leave no traces or forcefully, leaving little bits behind as reminders of the past. 
Now, let's apply to past loves and relationships. Maybe someone pointed out a problem  and you did nothing. Maybe you stopped communicating with them or resented them for saying anything. 

Maybe you want to do better. You stop having sex as much. You reflect on the relationship. Write a list of pros and cons Change yourself, Try to change him/her. Go out more. Re-spark the passion. 

OR

Break-up for good. Remove the person from your life. Delete numbers. Remove from social media. Block, ignore, delete.

Maybe you remove them partially. Still allow them to linger in your lives, knowing they are still causing physical or emotional damage. 

For example, the ex husband and I separated in 2005. We still had sex off and on until 2010. Having sex was not strengthening our relationship with God. Having sex did not repair the marriage. .He was still having sex with others, and so was I. 

I realized sleeping with him was sending mixed messages. My old thought processes said since I am over here, I might as well have sex with him. No different than before we separated. I told him in 2010, we can't have sex anymore and he still tried again and again, even during my last visit to GA in 2011. I was celibate then and he asked why did I come on the trip. (so he and his family can see the kids, duh). I had no intention on sleeping with him, but he had other plans. 

HAPPILY DIVORCED :-)

In Sunday School, I learned a relationship is based on God and love. We both believed in God, but the relationship needed more of God. He was one of those forcefully removed tags, which still left little pieces behind. I still have to deal with him because of the kids, but I don't have to sleep with him. I definitely don't have to remarry him (he already remarried.)

+Stacie Wyatt @2014 Stacie D .Wyatt/Celibacy Diaries. 



Saturday, August 9, 2014

30 day challenge

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. 


August 1st to August 31st, 2014.



Someone told me before 21 days makes something a habit. I previously took a purity course online, but didn't take it too seriously after a while. I was more focused on completing assignments versus allowing the information to sink in. I had got behind and wanted to play catch-up. My heart was not in the right place after I got behind. No accountability, even towards the end, where I submitted 10 lessons in one day to be finally finished.

In the end, the online course provided me a mentor, who I did not take too seriously either. My heart was not in the right place. She discussed how it takes 21 days to make something a habit. I thought she was nuts. I am already going without sex. Without companionship. I even thought about lying in the lessons, but I could not bring myself to do it.

At the end of each lesson, there was an accountability section. Did you partake in any sexual activities? Thoughts? What can you do to improve?

The other day, I had an interview with Tranea Prossner, author of Celibacy, What Was I Thinking?, for my capstone project at Full Sail University. I will publish the interview here, once I have permission to release audio footage (two weeks). I read the book previously for review. I thought of issuing myself this challenge, while thinking doing church.

Pathway to Peace


During the Pathway to Peace class at FallBrook, discussed relationships. We can't have a good relationship with others, if we don't have a good relationship with God. The teacher also said people can't behave like they want and ask for forgiveness later.

I have done this plenty of times. Do something, I know is wrong, then ask for repentance. True repentance means I have to try to turn away from sin instead of doing it over and over again.

Temptation is only what you want to do. You can't be tempted if you don't want it.

The post sat in my journal for a few days because I wasn't sure whether or not to post it, but with celibacy comes accountability. I need to be held accountable.

The 30 Day Challenge

I decided to issue myself a 30 day challenge of no masturbation. I do not know how long I have gone now. But to keep myself on track and able to track it, I am setting a goal for the month of August. Surprise there is not an app for this. App for everything else. 

I will blog every few days, (daily if I remember, even if it's an unlisted video review) with progress. If I can go almost 4 years without sex, I surely can go 30 days without self-pleasure.

I also made the blog for Adults only during this challenge.

Currently, for the month of August, I have gone 6, 9 days without self-pleasure. 24 more days to go. 


30 Day Challenge



Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday





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It definitely has been hard. Been tempted a few times already but I am pressing forward in the challenge. The week has been frustrating. I finished Public relations and reputation management Sunday night. I am now in New Media Publishing and Distribution. Two more classes until I graduate with a masters. I am under stress and pressure to finalize the multimedia portion of the assignment. 

The first copy is due Sunday. I need new research. Find more interviews. The kids are driving me nuts. Brad's ESY ends tomorrow. So, I have to work through a multimedia presentation, while dealing with the kids. 

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Not quite healed: Monday's reflection


A few days ago, I ran across an old e-mail from 2011 from the ex-husband. I was trying to clean out old e-mails to declutter my Gmail.

I was pregnant with Kalen at the time. I thought I deleted the e-mail because I didn't want any additional stress, especially during the last trimester. After two miscarriages, I did not want to experience another one. I was hurt. I was devastated, but I couldn't let the ex get to me, because I had less than a few weeks before Kalen arrived.

Yesterday, I listened to two conference calls on celibacy: Christian Singles Cafe (Formerly Celibacy is Sexy) and Unmarried No More. Pugh discussed Love after Hurt, while Pastor Walker discussed finding a Godly mate. I have been listening to Pugh since last year, while I just heard of Unmarried No More, about an hour before the conference.

I just happen to visit a celibacy group, I joined a while back, but not active in. I visit for motivation because the moderator posts good topics and graphics. One of the posts was for Unmarried No More, so I decided to tune in. She also discussed healing yourself before moving into a future relationship.

Two different conferences: Same Topic. God was in the plans.

Christian Singles Cafe: 

Pugh had Tamiko Lowry as a guest speaker. Lowry discussed how people get into new relationships without healing from past relationships. She also discussed how people are abused in relationships, but don't always know about it. I have been physically and emotionally abused before, but I didn't know I was emotionally abused until later. In order to heal, Lowry said we must forgive. We also need to love ourselves before moving into a new relationship. 

Unmarried No More: 

I was not sure what to expect from this call, since it was my first time calling in. Walker said the purpose of the call was to "position you to receive your Godly covenant mate." One thing, which stood out was "Is the problem of not getting married bigger than your God?"

So I been married before and now divorced. From listening to Pugh's calls, I have decided to wait until remarriage to have sex again. I never expected celibacy to last this long but no reason in giving it up until I am in a committed, married, relationship. I seen others, who wait until they are in any relationship. Maybe they wait until they are engaged.

From experience, I feel that some men/women will wait long enough to get you to have sex, then walk away. Then, the process starts over again. I don't want to waste almost 4 years of celibacy on someone, who will walk away before marriage.

I used to get turned on by men, who said they were celibate. If I wanted to have sex with them, their celibacy did not stop me. I already knew I probably would never see them again. I also felt they should have seen, in advance, that we would never been more than a one-night stand.

If all we talk about is sex, whether celibate or sexually active, I don't expect anything else, even if it is one time.

Back to the conference, The Pastor said society sets expectations, which is not from God. People divorce they judge marriage based on worldly principles.

FallBrook Church Pathway to Peace: 

In Sunday School, on June 27th, 2014, we had a discussion about divorce. Marcus discussed how the bible only had a few reasons for divorce: abandonment, infidelity, and death. Being abused was not one of the reasons, which led to a big debate. My former marriage had infidelity on both sides, so I was like yes, I have a biblically sound divorce :-). 

The Unmarried conference also discussed how people give others a commitment when they are not qualified to receive a commitment. Other highlights included: 

  1. People make the mistake that God will change someone's heart
  2. People need to ask God to reveal if yall have the same vision
  3. God is not going to tell one person about marriage without telling the other. 
  4. The enemy will play on physical attraction. 
  5. We have to heal past hurts before moving into a new relationship. 
So to conclude, I thought what qualifications does a man need to have before I consider a relationship with him. Sure, I love older, bald, chocolate men, but that is not enough to date someone.

I also want someone, who accepts me for having herpes, but that is not enough to date someone.

I thought of five things. The list is a work in progress.


  1. Be a follower, not a fan of Christ. (learned this in Sunday School).
  2. Be there for me when sick. I thought of this after thinking of an incident, which happened in 2005. 
  3. Not abusive: spiritually, mentally, and physically. 
  4. Be available. I want to be able to talk to him when needed without having to stalk him. I don't want to have to call or IM or e-mail constantly to find out where he is. 
  5. Celibate. Of course, we have to set boundaries, plus no sex until marriage. 
And that is my reflection of Monday's conference call. I am not quite healed. 

Stacie D. Wyatt


Wednesday, June 25, 2014

The Case for Loneliness.


I took an interesting twist with this post. I wanted to do something different using a screen recorder and limited words. Wanted to show my thought process. Please leave a comment, letting me know what you think about the concept and my thoughts.



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@2014 Stacie D. Wyatt/Celibacy Diaries.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

It's too late to do anything about it






It’s too late to do any damn thing about it

When my grandma was living, she and her husband (rest in peace both of them) owned plenty of land and plenty of acreage. My grandma owed property taxes and never paid it. I remember seeing the letters come in the mail box (since I checked the mail most of the time), piles of letters, pink late payment letters, telling her or her husband to pay the freaking property taxes.

In November 2000, my grandma died still owing property taxes. The family—well some of the family-don’t know which helped—since I gave birth to Brad the day after she died---and am not sure who—pulled together and paid the back property taxes.


But that was it. No one continued to pay the taxes on the land and within the last few months, Montgomery County auctioned off the land to the highest bidder. The property, which has been in the family for decades, is no longer.

A few days ago, my sister took to Facebook to discuss the family losing their land. Now, all of a sudden, the next generation—my cousins, sisters, now want to discuss getting the land back. The back taxes were over 100,000, almost as much as all my student loans combined. All the young ones want to rally together and save a piece of land, no one has really stayed on since my grandma house burned down years and years ago. Some of them were shocked because they did know the land was auctioned off months ago. Guess the older generation of uncles and great uncles did not mention this.

I had to IM my sister to let her know the property was auctioned off months ago and it’s too late to do any damn thing about it. The property is sold. The county has now sent letters to my mother, brothers, and step-brothers/sisters to disburse the extra for a small fee. (My grandma had 4 children (my mother plus 3 brothers. One died about 2007/2008. Her second husband had 4 or more children too).

Because the family did not continue to work together with everyone to save the property, the property is now sold to someone else.

Because my grandma and grandpa had poor financial management, while they was living, the family lost their land.

Sometimes in life, we make mistakes. We make errors. Sometimes we cannot go back and fix our mistakes. It is simply too late and there is nothing we can do.

I can’t go back and remove my herpes diagnosis. Even though I was faithful, at that point, I still have it.

I can’t go back and not get married at 19 years old—happily divorced but I should have not gotten married that young.

I can’t go back and erase both miscarriages, even though the second one helped spark my celibacy journey.

I can’t go back and remove a few—a lot of former sex partners. Many—A lot, I should have left alone—online—and never met offline.

But you still can move forward and learn from your experiences. Still can learn from your mistakes. Still receive redemption.

It may be too late to change your past, but you can always change your future.


@Stacie D. Wyatt/Celibacy Diaries


Sunday, June 15, 2014

It doesn't matter where you're sinning, you're still sinning

It doesn’t matter where you’re sinning, you’re still sinning



Last night (Saturday), my mother and I had a conversation about my uncle and daddy. One lives here and one crashes here, when one of his girlfriends gets tired of him. I told her, if I had a boyfriend and if I was having sex, the next logical step would be moving in with him, so I can get all the sex I want (I didn’t tell her that part though). Her response was: Do you want them living in sin?

She ignored the fact that both men are having sex with their respective women(s). I told her, they are still sinning, whether they are going over to visit or if they move in. Where they are sinning does not make it less of a sin. On judgment day, God isn’t going to say, well since you sinned here, instead of there, then you are good in my eyes. Enter the pearly gates of heaven, my child.

It doesn’t matter where you’re sinning, you’re still sinning.

Biblical loopholes. What places are ok to sin in and not get in trouble? Not with your self or others, but with God. If I cuss in church, is it more or less sin than if I do it at home? If I have an impure thought at the grocery store, is it ok versus me having an impure thought at home?

The relatives are still having sex. Still engaging in fornication, pre-marital sex, and maybe promiscuity. If it wasn’t ok for God when I was fornicating and being promiscuous, then it’s not ok for the uncles. If it wasn’t ok for God when I was shacking up with men, then it’s not ok for the rest of us sinners. Justifying and rationalizing the sin based on location, does not make it any less of a sin.

It doesn’t matter where you’re sinning, you’re still sinning.

UPDATE

Today in Sunday School, Frank (rest in peace. He died in 2016).  touched on the same topic.  He said all sin is sin to God. No sin is greater or less than one another. You're responsible for your own sins. You're responsible for how you justify and rationalize your sins. It is your decision whether you choose to sin or not. 



Stacie D. Wyatt

Monday, June 9, 2014

Happily divorced and other random thoughts.

Happy June 9th, 2014.

Divorce
I got my finalized divorce papers in the mail today. I am so relieved. We was married for five and separated for 9 years. I was ready to get divorced by year 3 of the marriage. I never wanted to be like my mother and father. I don't know how long they was married before separation. They separated for most of their marriage. They finally got the divorce 20 years later. 6 more years and I would have been in the same boat. Arlene and Willie got married in 1984 and finally divorced in 2004. I got married in 2000 and divorced in 2014. 

Now I can date (when I am ready) without explaining why  I am separated. I don't have to hear arguments about why separated is still married.  I can go to Match.com or chemistry.com or Eharmony and choose single.

BOOBS

I had two messages from a particular dating site this week from two gentlemen. The conversations started off ok, until both mentioned how much they loved my boobs. Yay me. My boobs don't impress me. I had them since I was 8. When a man starts commenting on certain body parts, I think they want sex. I'm not having sex. Maybe they didn't read my profile. I know my boobs are a prominent part of my front body area. They can not be missed but if you are trying to date me, don't mention the boobs or breasts or tatas or whatever you call them. Made the rest of the conversation irrelevant. 

One was a youngin, who wanted a pic. Nope. The other was an older dude, who wanted to date me because he is in town for a few days. Different ages, different races. Both loved the boobs. yay me. 

My cousin's future marriage


My cousin told me yesterday about a new boyfriend. I asked about the former boyfriend because they go back and forth for over 11 years. The cousin wants to marry Bubba Earl. 

I asked how long have they known each other, cousin said one month. 

Why do you want to get married?

She didn't say love or money or companionship. She said because he was not that bright. 

Not that bright means maybe she wants to manipulate him, con him, since he is an older man. Not that bright means she does not want to marry him for his intelligent conversation. 

Friday, May 30, 2014

Do I need a boyfriend this badly?

I am back. I know I have not written on here in months. Celibacy Diaries had taken a major backseat to Perfect Chaos and Stacie D. Wyatt.com (school blog). I did write an update post, but didn't post it. The update post was supposed to go live on April 2, 2014.

Late Update Post: April 2, 2014


I have not posted in a while. I got busy with school, not to mention a few other problems, I been having. I had been seriously frustrated with a side of depression and loneliness.

The last two weeks, I felt I was about to snap. First, I had received bad grades on 2 of my school assignments. I haven’t made grades that low, since I was enrolled at Wesleyan College at 18 years old. I tried my best. I did the work. I saw the grades and was not happy. I even thought about dropping out of school because I struggle finding events and stories to write about.

Then, I got my divorce papers in the mail. I got them notarized and mailed off, after reviewing them, even though I had a few issues with some of the things in it. I had a major nightmare and realized, despite issues, I don’t want to remain longer in a marriage with someone, who I do not love or like. We was married 5 years and have been separated for 9 years.

Next, I got a letter from child support. Medicaid filed for child support and I am still not ok with this. I was ready to drop my insurance and food stamps, in order to have peace of mind. I was told at first, I could lose my benefits, if I do not comply. I thought the kids would be ok. They receive SSI and Medicaid for life.

At the meeting, I told them my concerns about filing and learned I could not drop the case. Not only would I lose my benefits, the kids would lose theirs too. Kalen has an upcoming dentist and neurologist appointment. Brad is on medications. I also need to make him an appointment with the pediatrician.

Having to comply meant I had to tell my ex about what was going on.  He and I already had an informal agreement about child support. The conversation did not go well.

On top of that, I got a phone call from Brad’s school, saying his clothes were dirty and smelled of urine. . I had washed his clothes the night before. Everything smelt fresh. I’m not sending my child to school smelling funky, wearing funky clothes. He is an Axe man (deodorant and spray). I wash his clothes every other day. 2 shirts, 3 pair of pants.


I feel I am at my wits end. Ready to run away, far ,far away. I am lonely. Depressed. And been crying for the past few days.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Settling for less

My nephew had a favorite blanket, when he came over here to visit. The blanket was coming apart. The cotton was separating from the cloth, which may cause a massive choking hazard, but he didn't see that. A pool full of cotton. Eugene claims he loves the blanket, but refused to throw it out. I even offered to buy him a new blanket, but he refused. I threw the blanket out during the last heavy trash day.

I think the same concept can apply to relationships, whether starting out or fully established. Sometimes we settle for a favorite person, even though they are a major life hazard. The relationship needs to be thrown out with the garbage, but you, we, I refuse to do so. Sometimes we settle for less, knowing the relationship isn't working anymore.

(S)he lies, cheats, refuses to change for the better. Maybe yall are incompatible on a few issues and no one is willing to compromise or leave.

I think Kenny Pugh had mentioned in a previous Celibacy is Sexy Call about how people can't find the right one for them, while being tied to the wrong one.

Ok I found my notes: he said people stay in unhealthy relationships, while praying for the right person. He was talking about cheating with a married person, but I think it can apply here too.

I think as I got older, I notice the little details on dating websites, such as if he wants kids or if he is in a relationship. I also notice little things, people say, which makes me think: NO, I can't date you.

It could be the man, who wants more kids biologically. Or the man, who gets mad because you didn't answer his texts right away and then sends angry messages on social media (may be a control issue). It may be the man, who thinks foreplay is ok, while you are not having sex. Stirring the fire, while messing up your soul.

The man, who wants marriage, but doesn't know your last name. The woman, who only comes around,  on pay day. The man, who brags about how a woman is a man's property. Here's a good one: from 2006 or 2007, the man, who told me I should be obligated to date him simply because he accepted me for having herpes.

If I settled for less, I could be:

Living in Florida with a man, who wanted to date me because I had boys.
OR
Dating the dude, who thinks foreplay is ok during celibacy.
OR
Dating the dude, who gets angry when you don't respond to his 100 messages right away

Refuse to settle for less. Wait for the right person, God has for you.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Available but Not Ready Summary and Notes by Kenny Pugh

Image taken from Amazon. 
Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links and Images.

This is a repost from Perfect Chaos. I typed up my notes on the wrong blog.

Topic: Available but not ready, featuring Terry Scott, who wrote Available But Not Ready: Things to Consider before Dating, Courting and Marriage.
When: Monday, January 20th, 2014 Hosted by Kenny Pugh Website: www.celibacyissexy.com'

What I learned:

  • People move from relationship to relationship without purging themselves of the past. People are not prepared for a new relationship because they are carrying baggage from old relationships. 
  • People place too much emphasis on sex. Sex does not maintain a relationship. 
  • People want to be in love and jump in relationships, they are not ready for.
  • People get married without knowing who they are. They may not know what their godly purpose is yet. Either Pugh or Scott said sometimes God calls you into ministry after the "I do's". The calling can break up a marriage, if both parties are not willing to make things work. 

Application into my life:

I got married quick, when I was 19 years old. I only knew him a year. We met in January, 1999 and was married exactly a year later. I thought I was in love, but I am not sure now. I hear all these stories about people, who have feelings for their exes, blah blah blah, and I don't have any feelings for the former mister. The relationship had red flags before and after the marriage, including a big sign from God, which I don't talk about, and I ignored them because I thought I was in love and wanted to prove a point. I don't even remember a proposal. That year moved quick.

For example, I did not want to date a man with kids. I was young and had no intentions of being a mom or stepmom. Before meeting Brad sr., I turned down two good men because they had a child. There was a sexy, Caucasian man named Eric, who lived in the Macon area.

All my life, I heard I wasn't feminine enough to get a man because I didn't care for hair, make-up, and nails. I was picked on for being fat. So, when someone actually wanted to marry me, I jumped on it without thinking of the ramifications.

Then, we break into the last point: People get married without knowing who they are. They may not know what their Godly purpose is yet. Sometimes God calls you into ministry after saying I do. Your spouse may not be ready to accept your new calling. 

My old church had promoted Brad to a deacon, which I hated. They promoted him without talking to both of us. I have no idea what qualifies someone as a deacon. I am a Christian, but I don't think I am Christian enough to be a pastor's, minister's, or deacon's wife. The calling may have been my exes but it was not mine.

I left the church eventually for a church, I loved. They had a class for Brad, so I can get what I need and Brad can get what he needs. :-). That is one reason, I love bigger churches. Even my current church as a wonderful special needs program. Touch screen computer. iPads. Fine motor skills toys. Swing. Bean bags. Lots of room to move around. Socialization skills.