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About Me

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Welcome to Google (whether Plus, Perfect Chaos, or the Celibacy Diaries). My name is Stacie D. Wyatt.  I am a published poet and writer (Chocolate Kisses; Love.Lust.Life., Miscarried, Conversing with Sexuality; Conversing with Salvation; Conversing with Normality; Conversations 1, Never Argue with an Autistic child and other special tales, and Conversations 2. ). 

 I am also a product and book reviewer for a few sites (BookSneeze, Blogging for Books, Bethany House, Edelweiss, Tyndale House, and Netgalley). I will post reviews here regularly. I post reviews on Perfect Chaos. 

I also have two kids: 13 years old and 3 year old. My oldest is Autistic and my youngest is developmentally delayed, autistic, and a few other things. I also enjoy writing about the ups and downs of parenting two differently-abled children.

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Wednesday, December 25, 2013

Interview Series: Part 3 Dignity James

Celibacy Diaries: The Interview Series Part 3
Dignity James

  • Name: Dignity James
  • Age: 38
  • Location: Michigan
  • Status: Celibate 3 months. Recently divorced from husband of 10 years.
  • I’m willing to wait for a spiritual, mental, and emotional connection before I have sex with someone.”

Definition of abstinence:

“Preserving my spirit, my mind, my emotions, and body, for a man, that is mutually invested in me.”

Handling Temptation:
James focuses on the things in life, which makes her happy. Temptation is “very challenging because the emotional hurt from my divorce cripples me at times. But, I am so kind to myself that it’s getting easier daily. I custom fit a life that makes me strong. I am my support system for the first time in my life. I’m not learning on anyone, but God and me. I have little expectations for people now. If they keep their word, cool. If not, that’s ok too. I depend on me. My limits are revealed through my instincts.”

Handling Strong Temptation

James bought plane tickets to go see a dude and have sex. “I wanted to be held and wanted.” On the day of her flight, “an invisible force caused me to panic” and she could not make the flight. She could not get her money back for the tickets ($300).
Another time, she went out on a date and had a good time. The “invisible force wouldn’t allow me to even kiss him. I can maintain a sexually stimulating conversation via text or on the phone, but in person, there’s this invisible barrier. It feels like fear, but a good fear. More like a protective shield.”

Support and Systems:

James’s support systems include her mom, god mom, and neighbor.

Godmother: “She’s like a guide, non-judgmental, and very protective of me. Even the slightest injustice, she wants to dismantle it.” James’s god mom wants to build her up, while “instilling the omnipresence of God in my present and future problems. She says, God sits high and looks low.”

While, her godmother provides a spiritual perspective, her neighbor, provides a deeper level of dialogue. “It’s like the dialogue I need.” James’ neighbor has a “been there, done there attitude. We visit one another a day or two out of the week. She works a lot, so it’s hit or miss sometimes. She can’t believe I’m so inexperienced sexually, so we will go to the adult stores and find ways to make me happy.

Mom: “My mom thinks I’m a teenager. She is calling me every four hours. What are you doing? What’s up? Come over, let’s go out to eat. Do you want to spend the night? It drives me crazy at night, but I laugh because I can remember for the past ten years being isolated by my own will. Trying to hold on to something, which appeared real. I understand she loves me and has all that pinned up love for me, which she was unable to unleash through the years. I am loved.

James is very open with her support system because she knows “they have her best interest at heart. I act in concert with our conversations. I can’t see myself going against the stuff, we’ve discussed. “

Are certain acts ok during celibacy and abstinence?

Masturbation is ok for me. ‘Self love’ coming from a sexually timid person, it came with fright. But walking in the toy store, purchasing the toy, and using it, must have been the most empowering thing I have done to this day.

I didn’t realize how disconnected, I was from myself. I waited for someone to love me; give me what I need; and when I didn’t get it, I was bitter, disappointed, and angry. But the first orgasm via me-Fireworks, everything just made sense. I didn’t feel guilty or condemned."

Changes in spiritual, mental, or physical life:

Things began shifting in my mind and I thought about how many sex partners I have had; the unfulfilling relationships, I could have prevented, in search of someone filling a void.”

Spiritual: James feels “protected, loved, and balanced”

Mental: “I feel adequate to face life’s challenges and confident, I will prosper and be in good health.

Physically: : “ I feel healthy. I joined the Y and I work out regularly. I swim and do aerobics at least once a week. I’m eating healthier. I played in my first piano recital a couple of weeks ago. I’m excited about the future.

What books, websites, and material do you go to for support and help?

The bible is my greatest inspiration. I hold on to scriptures as best as I can. My life long prayer has been that I’d be like a tree planted by the river, whose leaves never wither and whatever I do shall prosper. I will be an example to younger women and a wise steward over which God has entrusted me. “

James also reads  “Seven habits of successful people”. “I just recently found the CD when I moved back home. I hadn’t listened to it in ten years. But I guess subconsciously, the program was still playing in my mind. He says, ‘don’t allow what matters most to be at the mercy of what matters least. You are the programmer, write the program. Don’t live out some program, which doesn’t work in your life.”

Monday, December 16, 2013

Celibacy Diaries: The Interview Series Part 2 featuring Brian Apollo.

Celibacy Diaries: The Interview Series Part 2:
Interview with Brian Apollo

Name: Brian Apollo
Age: 37
City/State: Chicago, Illinois
Profession: School Psychologist, Author, Poet, and Youth Minister.
Status: Virgin

Part 2 of the Celibacy Diaries: Interview Series includes an interview with Brian Apollo, a 37 year old virgin, living in Chicago. Apollo chose to remain a virgin for spiritual reasons. I met Apollo through Alive Poets, a former weekly open Mic, on Yahoo Instant Messenger. We also met in person in Atlanta. Apollo is an inspiration to others and myself.

Brian’s parents raised him with strong Christian roots. His parents taught him sex belongs within the covenant of marriage. “If you love someone, you should give her something that no one has ever had and vice versa”

Being a virgin also has not stopped Apollo from dating. Apollo “is not looking for a girlfriend, I’m looking for a wife. If I can’t see myself spending my life with a woman, then why date?”

Handling Temptation:

First, Apollo said temptations combine thought and imagination. “Thoughts and imaginations are uncontrollable. “ Next, “Temptations begin in the mind and as long as it doesn’t develop into actions, then I’m cool.” 

Second, Apollo dealt with temptation strongly, when he attended prom. His girlfriend and him went out to eat, then came back to his house. “Both of us was dressed to impress and we all know that prom outfits leave nothing to the imagination. So we were staring at each other and before we knew it, we was kissing and touching. We were on the verge of going too far. I had a quick vision of myself in a casket. I believe that was God showing me my future and just as fast, I was turned off and scared. We both apologized and went home.”

Are certain sexual acts ok during virginity, celibacy, or abstinence?

“When is kissing not enough? When is petting not enough? How much petting will bring you to the point of no return? Plus  in each one of those acts, are we truly thinking of the other person or are we so driven by emotions that we stop using logic (meaning there will be an end-result to all of these acts of passion…”

Tips for youth and adults, who are virgins?

“Life is better when you can enjoy it. No matter how cautious you are and how much birth control you use, sex is designed for procreation, not recreation. Eventually the human boy will do what it’s designed to do and your life, future, and soul, will be tied to the person, you had sex with. It’s better to wait until marriage because if you’re going to join your soul with someone, it may as well be with the person you’re having an everlasting commitment with. Aint nothing as unfair to your soul mate than to compare him/her with all the people you had before him/her.”

Final Thoughts: Encouraging the youth

“I would simply let them know God is real and everyone is accountable for what they do at the end. God is love, but when everything is said and done, when we stand in front of him, and the book of life is opened up...”

Social Media:

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Stop, Simply Stop: Random Thoughts by Me.

Sometimes, we have to simply stop chasing behind; longing for; feigning after; craving for someone, who is not right for us. Yeah, I know it's hard to do, but it is necessary to move forward and move on. I caught myself, the other day, thinking about one or two people I used to talk to. One was platonic and the other wasn't. The non-platonic one is tied for # 1 of greatest sex partners of all time. I  have some contact information for both of them still.

The platonic friend, was a good friend of mine. We were close. He knew my secrets and I knew his. We had talked about dating before.

The friendship fizzled after I got pregnant with my youngest. He was very judgmental because of my past sexual history (which he knew about). I had to delete his number because I got tired of calling and texting, with no answer. I got tired of sending him messages on Facebook with no answer. Sometimes, I guess, it takes me a while to get the hint. He was no longer interested in being my friend.

He was one of those guys, who did not believe in casual sex, but slipped up every now and then. Even got someone pregnant in the last two years. I felt hurt. He judged me about my past and getting pregnant, yet he did the same thing, (but not as much sex).

The non-platonic friend helped me enjoy sex. I met him in 2005 on BlackPlanet.  I did not know sex could be that amazing until I met him. I got addicted to the penis. He was a good dude, but my judgment was clouded. I even wanted to date him to keep the penis. Even though we haven't talked in years, I was still calling, texting, and hitting up online, once again with no responses.

I have to learn to stop it. When someone shows a lack of interest, I need to learn to let them go. Delete their numbers and social media to prevent contact. If they have an interest in me, they will contact me and vice versa, on a regular basis. No matter how good the penis was. No matter how good the friendship was. It comes a time to simply let them go. They may not be in my life for life, but for a season.

Simply stop chasing after someone, who has a lack of interest in you.
Simply stop wanting to date someone, just for the penis
Simply stop contacting someone, who will not return your calls, texts, or instant messages.
Simply stop, reassess, and move on.

Stacie D. Wyatt

Monday, December 2, 2013

Talk is cheap. Actions means more.

Yesterday in church, Pastor Mike said something about not exploiting people, who made mistakes in life. Somehow, from that, I came up with this blog post.

On Thanksgiving, we had a house full of folks. Relatives and non-relatives. One of my relatives--Let's call him Uncle Dude--decided he wanted to talk to my niece's friend's mom. Niece's Friend's Mom is separated from her husband. She is in her 30s, maybe 40s. She also has eight kids. She is a beautiful, multi-ethic/racial, woman, with a nice shaped body.

Uncle Dude is 53 years old with no kids.

Uncle Dude talked all day long about wanting to date her, support her, help her with the kids. He even got her to agree to go on a date. As soon as Niece's friend's Mom went home, Uncle Dude talked about her like a dog. He disrespected her. He called her all sorts of cuss words. His story changed. He did not want to date her, he wanted to have sex with her. He did not want to be bothered with 8 kids. Yet, he still wanted to do other things.

A few days before, Uncle Dude and my daddy, was having a conversation, in front of four women, about viagra, prostitutes, and a woman's natural lubrication. I had to leave the room. My family never really talked about sex, when I was growing up. I definitely don't want to overhear some things at 33 years old. I simply don't want to know.

Here comes Saturday, they have a date. He had to change the time. He doesn't know where she lives. He doesn't know her apartment number. He woke up my niece after midnight to try to get her address and phone number. I assume he wants sex because he is walking around saying he is going to wash his pecker. I don't know if they had sex or not but I hope they did not. He was going to go over her house, where the kids live. Possibly wake the kids up.

One minute, you are plotting your move, telling people, you are interested. The next minute, calling her names. Then, you want to have sex with her, even after calling her words, which rhyme with witch. Using the Lord's name in vain when he is an Atheist.  He talked badly about her, but still wanted to screw her. I hope she has the gift of discernment.

The situation reminded me of a former, platonic friend, who lived in Dekalb County, Georgia. We was friends for a few years. Both of us were having sex with multiple partners. One day, this friend called me a ho because I was sleeping with multiple men, while he was not a ho, even though he was doing the same. Some time had passed and he asked we had not had sex yet. I never had an interest in him, but all I could think of was he called me a ho.

I felt my uncle was doing something similar, like the platonic friend.