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About Me

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Welcome to Google (whether Plus, Perfect Chaos, or the Celibacy Diaries). My name is Stacie D. Wyatt.  I am a published poet and writer (Chocolate Kisses; Love.Lust.Life., Miscarried, Conversing with Sexuality; Conversing with Salvation; Conversing with Normality; Conversations 1, Never Argue with an Autistic child and other special tales, and Conversations 2. ). 

 I am also a product and book reviewer for a few sites (BookSneeze, Blogging for Books, Bethany House, Edelweiss, Tyndale House, and Netgalley). I will post reviews here regularly. I post reviews on Perfect Chaos. 

I also have two kids: 13 years old and 3 year old. My oldest is Autistic and my youngest is developmentally delayed, autistic, and a few other things. I also enjoy writing about the ups and downs of parenting two differently-abled children.

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Saturday, January 25, 2014

Available but Not Ready Summary and Notes by Kenny Pugh

Image taken from Amazon. 
Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links and Images.

This is a repost from Perfect Chaos. I typed up my notes on the wrong blog.

Topic: Available but not ready, featuring Terry Scott, who wrote Available But Not Ready: Things to Consider before Dating, Courting and Marriage.
When: Monday, January 20th, 2014 Hosted by Kenny Pugh Website: www.celibacyissexy.com'

What I learned:

  • People move from relationship to relationship without purging themselves of the past. People are not prepared for a new relationship because they are carrying baggage from old relationships. 
  • People place too much emphasis on sex. Sex does not maintain a relationship. 
  • People want to be in love and jump in relationships, they are not ready for.
  • People get married without knowing who they are. They may not know what their godly purpose is yet. Either Pugh or Scott said sometimes God calls you into ministry after the "I do's". The calling can break up a marriage, if both parties are not willing to make things work. 

Application into my life:

I got married quick, when I was 19 years old. I only knew him a year. We met in January, 1999 and was married exactly a year later. I thought I was in love, but I am not sure now. I hear all these stories about people, who have feelings for their exes, blah blah blah, and I don't have any feelings for the former mister. The relationship had red flags before and after the marriage, including a big sign from God, which I don't talk about, and I ignored them because I thought I was in love and wanted to prove a point. I don't even remember a proposal. That year moved quick.

For example, I did not want to date a man with kids. I was young and had no intentions of being a mom or stepmom. Before meeting Brad sr., I turned down two good men because they had a child. There was a sexy, Caucasian man named Eric, who lived in the Macon area.

All my life, I heard I wasn't feminine enough to get a man because I didn't care for hair, make-up, and nails. I was picked on for being fat. So, when someone actually wanted to marry me, I jumped on it without thinking of the ramifications.

Then, we break into the last point: People get married without knowing who they are. They may not know what their Godly purpose is yet. Sometimes God calls you into ministry after saying I do. Your spouse may not be ready to accept your new calling. 

My old church had promoted Brad to a deacon, which I hated. They promoted him without talking to both of us. I have no idea what qualifies someone as a deacon. I am a Christian, but I don't think I am Christian enough to be a pastor's, minister's, or deacon's wife. The calling may have been my exes but it was not mine.

I left the church eventually for a church, I loved. They had a class for Brad, so I can get what I need and Brad can get what he needs. :-). That is one reason, I love bigger churches. Even my current church as a wonderful special needs program. Touch screen computer. iPads. Fine motor skills toys. Swing. Bean bags. Lots of room to move around. Socialization skills. 

Monday, January 6, 2014

Wake Up Everybody

I thought of this post on New Years but wasn’t sure where to go with it. It’s 2014. I was listening to John Legend, cover Teddy Pendergrass. I also thought of School Daze, at the end, where Lawrence Fishburne told people to wake up. These are my thoughts. They may not make sense. Time to Wake Up.

It’s a new year, a new beginning. Time to wake up everybody. No more sleeping in bed. No more backward thinking. Time for thinking ahead. The world won’t get no better if we just let it be. The world won’t get no better. We gotta change it. Just you and me. Surely things will work out. The only thing we have to do is put it in our minds. They do every time.

Wake up everybody. We are practicing Abstinence or Celibacy. This road definitely is not easy. Anything worth doing brings forth a challenge. Not everyone will understand why you (or I) decided to live sex-free. A teacher once told me when you start moving to a different level, not everyone will understand. Not everyone will like it. Not everyone will support you, but that’s ok. With every challenge, you need to seek out people, who are going through the same thing. Someone, who will understand your new and future challenges. Someone to be empathetic, not sympathetic.

For example, in church, the teacher said when we move forward in the faith, we need to re-assess our friendships and relationships. We can’t go to the same places anymore and expect different results. The same principle applies to living a sex-free life. We need to re-assess ourselves; re-assess our friendships; re-assess our relationships. Next, Kenny Pugh was also discussing how we need to meet new people and stop hanging around people, who limit us. Pugh also said we need to declutter our lives. We need to get rid of things, we do not need anymore.

I am a book and product reviewer. I love books, but I don’t have the space to keep every book I have read, unless it is meaningful (and I will read it or reference it more than once). Same thing for products: If someone else can use it more frequently than I, give it away. I just don’t have the room for it. I went through my things this weekend and boxed up three boxes full of books, magazines, and newspapers. I gave away three or four bags of clothes to the church in November.

I am also re-thinking an old friendship. Someone, who I used to be close to- hit me up the other day. We have not talked in years. After talking with him on the phone, I’m not sure if we'll ever be close again.  I still have a long way to go in cleaning out the clutter in my room and still have to work on the clutter in my mind.

Time to Wake-Up Everybody.

Wake up. (S)he is not interested in you. (S)he does not want to date you (S)he will not return your calls, texts, and instant messages.
Wake up. (S)he wants sex only. (S)he does not want a relationship. Maybe (S)he wants kids (or does not want kids) and you don’t (or do). (S)he does not want to marry you or have anything to do with you.

Wake up Everybody  (A poem by Me)

Wake up Everybody.
Time is not standing still.
Time waits for no one.
Still got a void to fill.
Life is moving forward.
Why you lagging behind?
No point in waiting on someone, who does not have you at heart
Time go let them go.
No death till yall part.

Wake up everybody.
Time to delete that “friend”
More interested in tempting than relating.
Stop settling for someone, who is judging you
Stop dating someone, who is dating you
Stop wasting time with someone, incompatible with you.
Let them go, let them go, let them go.
No point in holding on when you are slowly losing your soul
Ate the poison apple, slowly dying inside.
Feelings you suppressed, repressed inside, bubbling over to the outside.
No longer can you hide the pain

Wake up Everybody. It’s a new year. New Beginning.

Go to church. Volunteer. Go back to school. Write a book. Re-assess your dating standards (Kenny Pugh). Refocus on your kids. Declutter, de-stress. Discover your purpose. Walk more. Eat healthier. Go Ahead and tell everybody, you the (wo)man, you the (wo)man, you the (wo)man.

@2014 Stacie D. Wyatt. Celibacy Diaries.