#MAFS2C Reflection
May 25, 2017
Tonite, I was watching Married at First Sight: Second Chances on Lifetime. The topic of sex was brought up between Ike and Vanessa. Vanessa asked him how he felt about premaritial sex, even though he did not provide an answer, I did admire a tweet, he posted later.
If someone says they want a a relationship, I expect, maybe hope, they put in the work to get to know me better. Then, we can talk on phone more (ugh) and go out to see if we are compatible. I love a good intellectual convo--way more than a sexual conversation (which I try not to entertain anymore).
I don't feel the need to get to know someone better, if they (or I) don't plan to stick around. All you need to know is my name, where we having sex, and std status (I have herpes since October 2004). Chemistry may be lacking but it's sex. If we don't click, we both can move forward with another sexual partner, even on the same day.
Now, if someone says they want a relationship and only talks sex, I do not want a relationship with them. Their head is in the wrong place and words are not in alignment. For me, I don't equate a successful relationship with having sex from the beginning. You got to know where you stand, as do I. I admire Vanessa for being bold and asking about premarital sex in the getting to know you stages. Some people want to wait, but I too, like to ask a few bold elimination questions upfront such as:
Tonite, I was watching Married at First Sight: Second Chances on Lifetime. The topic of sex was brought up between Ike and Vanessa. Vanessa asked him how he felt about premaritial sex, even though he did not provide an answer, I did admire a tweet, he posted later.
— Ike (@Ike2ndChances) May 26, 2017Side Note: Vanessa was for premarital sex, which got me to thinking. When someone tells me upfront, they want sex, I don't think about a relationship with them. If we do end up having sex, Old Stacie deleted their number afterwards, unless he was good.
If someone says they want a a relationship, I expect, maybe hope, they put in the work to get to know me better. Then, we can talk on phone more (ugh) and go out to see if we are compatible. I love a good intellectual convo--way more than a sexual conversation (which I try not to entertain anymore).
I don't feel the need to get to know someone better, if they (or I) don't plan to stick around. All you need to know is my name, where we having sex, and std status (I have herpes since October 2004). Chemistry may be lacking but it's sex. If we don't click, we both can move forward with another sexual partner, even on the same day.
Now, if someone says they want a relationship and only talks sex, I do not want a relationship with them. Their head is in the wrong place and words are not in alignment. For me, I don't equate a successful relationship with having sex from the beginning. You got to know where you stand, as do I. I admire Vanessa for being bold and asking about premarital sex in the getting to know you stages. Some people want to wait, but I too, like to ask a few bold elimination questions upfront such as:
- Are you looking to have sex?
- Are you ok with me having herpes?
- Do you have kids?
- Do you want more kids?
- How old are you? (not a fan of youngins)
Anyway, thank you for reading my random thoughts.
Stacie
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