Incompatible.

A few days ago, I received a call, from a blocked number, late at night. 

I don't date. I didn't think it was anything suspicious. Telemarketers are not supposed to call me, after a certain time.

Maybe it was my mother, sisters, or niece, in an emergency situation. My phone been acting up since Thanksgiving. It is charging slow. It is loading up apps slow. It is asking me if I want to accept phone calls. It's been stupid so maybe the blocked number was a fluke.

It turned out to be a man--a man, named Will. I have no idea who Will is. I don't know how Will got my number. I checked a few dating apps to see if I had a message from Will (nope). I don't think I met Will in person, but Will knew my name.  I don't even remember the last man, who got my number, either Google Voice or my real number.

Will wanted sex. He been thinking about me for three, whole weeks. He wants sex. He wanted to know if my kids was sleep (who told him, he was coming over?). I should have hung up. I didn't hang up.

I asked him, how I met him. I asked him why was he calling a celibate woman, versus someone sexually active. Apparently, he wants me and I will suck him off because he asked. I hung up.

Then, I went to Google to learn how to restrict blocked numbers from calling my phone. Before, I was able to figure it out, the blocked number did call back. I hit decline. My phone now has blocked numbers restricted from calling.

Back to my original question: What will make someone, who is sexually active or wants to be sexually active, call someone, who is celibate (maybe a virgin)?

I also had a question about why would someone call a new wannabe potential sex partner, after 10 pm, versus someone, they are already having sex with. Even when I was sexually active, I stopped going out at night with newbies. Anything can happen. Last thing, I want to do, is to be stranded, waiting for an uber/lyft or a bus, late at night, because someone didn't want me spending the night (It has happened. 4 am at a bus station, waiting for the bus station to open up at 5/6 am. Never again. )

I regress.

What makes someone hit up, someone, who is incompatible? In the past 10 years, I have been hit up by people, who are incompatible. In my early days of online dating, I also would hit up people, I knew I was incompatible with, in hopes, THEY WOULD CHANGE THEIR MINDS.

These were not minor things. The best lesson, given to me, by a man, is to walk away from incompatibility. I was sitting on the rock wall, outside downtown Atlanta's library, probably writing down something, before I headed home, when a man approached me. I don't remember what he was looking for, but we wasn't a match. He walked back to his friends and continued talking.

I asked him, why didn't he get the number anyway. His response, (not verbatim) was that we wasn't a match. He didn't need my number if we didn't have a future. That advice stuck.

I have men hitting me up for sex, but don't see a future with me. I had a man, who wanted me to move to his state (no), he will take care of me, and I will continue to do what I do with my kids. He also had a kid. I guess he wanted me to do nothing with her, either. I haven't talked to him since.

I had another man, hit me up for sex. He wants a relationship, but "my kids, my responsibility". I deleted him after he thought I was making up having herpes to scare off men. Should have deleted him sooner. I was not interested from the jump. Never initiated a convo.

Another man offered sex, but didn't see a future because of my kids. I been single, most of my life. I had 2 boyfriends, one of which became my husband for 5 years. We divorced 9 years later. I am at the point, where I think I will be ok being single, if I have to have sex with everyone, who is interested (already have a high body count. Don't need more regrets and heartache) and I also don't want anyone, who wants nothing to do with my kids. I am already parenting alone. No need to be in a relationship, still feeling and parenting alone. 

Stop trying to change incompatible people's minds on things, which won't work in the long run. If you want kids, don't date someone, who doesn't want kids. If you want sex, leave the virgins and celibates alone. Don't be a major regret. 

Stacie D. Wyatt

Dec 14, 2019