An interesting conversation
A random dude hit me up on a dating site. We exchanged numbers and had a small conversation. One of the things he asked me was when and if I got into a relationship, will I have sex to please my man? My first thought, cut him. Ok, Stacie knows she got a violent side. Kenny Pugh, on one of his celibacy chats, said that if someone wanted to be in a relationship, they would not pressure you into having sex. They will be willing to wait. And we all are worth the wait. If they are looking for sex only, then they should state that during the first conversation, so that I may (will) delete his number.
Some things should be stated upfront. For me, it's I am Celibate, I am fixed, and I have herpes. Those are my disclaimers. Accept them or leave me alone. I don't want to waste anyone's time, no more than they want to waste mine.
A great example of not wasting someone's time happened when I was staying in Atlanta. I was at the library, sitting outside, putting some books inside my bag. A random dude walked up to me, made small talk, said he was looking for a relationship. I said I was not looking and he simply said ok, thank you, and walked away. I asked him why he walked away and he said since we are not looking for the same things, there was no sense in continuing the conversation. I liked his approach.
When you are getting to know someone, if your standards do not match his standards, walk way. Don't stay in the relationship. Don't waste your time. Don't try to change the person. Simply walk away and find someone, who does. Why waste days, months, and years in a relationship with someone, who is simply incompatible? For example, one example I mentioned before is kids. If you want kids, do not talk to someone, who does not want any. If you are a Christian, why waste time talking to an atheist? If you want sex, why waste time talking to a celibate person? Ok, I get that. Ya know, take their renewed virginity, only to have them start their progress over. I used to do that to men, on purpose. I knew good and darn well (see I'm watching my tongue), most men I was with, will never be more than a one night stand. Some I even told, Hey you, this will be a one-time thing. I know me. I have zero feelings for you other than to get some basic, regular, one-time sex. Don't take it personal but I will delete your number as soon as we have sex. Of course, some people did not believe me, calling days, weeks, months, years later, asking why they didn't get a second go-round. I never had the right answer to make them happy. It was just sex, dummy. You was nothing more than a sex partner. You should have known that we only had a sexual relationship. We did not discuss anything other than sex. You don't know me and I don't know you other than the sexual component.
I never understood how some folks, including myself, when I first started having sex, in addition to when I started having lots of sex, didn't know anything was going to come from a friendship, other than a booty call. Then, I got wise. I kind of got a sixth sense of when a man was not going to call again, contact me again, etc, after having sex. I also had my sixth sense of who will be a repeat and who will not. A few folks have told me I have the mind of a man. Even then, I still confused lust with love, when I just was in love with the penis or the tongue, not the man attached.
Anyway, I Rambled long enough
Stacie D. Wyatt
Some things should be stated upfront. For me, it's I am Celibate, I am fixed, and I have herpes. Those are my disclaimers. Accept them or leave me alone. I don't want to waste anyone's time, no more than they want to waste mine.
A great example of not wasting someone's time happened when I was staying in Atlanta. I was at the library, sitting outside, putting some books inside my bag. A random dude walked up to me, made small talk, said he was looking for a relationship. I said I was not looking and he simply said ok, thank you, and walked away. I asked him why he walked away and he said since we are not looking for the same things, there was no sense in continuing the conversation. I liked his approach.
When you are getting to know someone, if your standards do not match his standards, walk way. Don't stay in the relationship. Don't waste your time. Don't try to change the person. Simply walk away and find someone, who does. Why waste days, months, and years in a relationship with someone, who is simply incompatible? For example, one example I mentioned before is kids. If you want kids, do not talk to someone, who does not want any. If you are a Christian, why waste time talking to an atheist? If you want sex, why waste time talking to a celibate person? Ok, I get that. Ya know, take their renewed virginity, only to have them start their progress over. I used to do that to men, on purpose. I knew good and darn well (see I'm watching my tongue), most men I was with, will never be more than a one night stand. Some I even told, Hey you, this will be a one-time thing. I know me. I have zero feelings for you other than to get some basic, regular, one-time sex. Don't take it personal but I will delete your number as soon as we have sex. Of course, some people did not believe me, calling days, weeks, months, years later, asking why they didn't get a second go-round. I never had the right answer to make them happy. It was just sex, dummy. You was nothing more than a sex partner. You should have known that we only had a sexual relationship. We did not discuss anything other than sex. You don't know me and I don't know you other than the sexual component.
I never understood how some folks, including myself, when I first started having sex, in addition to when I started having lots of sex, didn't know anything was going to come from a friendship, other than a booty call. Then, I got wise. I kind of got a sixth sense of when a man was not going to call again, contact me again, etc, after having sex. I also had my sixth sense of who will be a repeat and who will not. A few folks have told me I have the mind of a man. Even then, I still confused lust with love, when I just was in love with the penis or the tongue, not the man attached.
Anyway, I Rambled long enough
Stacie D. Wyatt
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