Celibacy: what was I thinking by Tranea Prosser (review book)
- Refusing to answer questions about sexual preferences and birth control methods. Some questions may include What are you wearing? Talk sweet to me? Anything to do with Phone sex.
- Write a list of characteristics you want in a mate, based on category, such as friend, acquaintance, and husband. The characteristics/traits need to have depth, not superficiality.
- Do not send or receive XXX Pics and videos.
- Prayer. Every man Tranea is interested in, goes to God in prayer.
- NO ROMANCE NOVELS. Romance novels sometimes, well a lot of them have explicit sex scenes. They also can set unrealistic expectations. Now Stacie reviews books. Any romance novels, I have already committed to, I will finish, but I am not requesting any more. The books was starting to irritate me. You always know the girl will end up with the guy, no matter how much they can't stand each other in the beginning. and I have to skip (most of the time) over the sex scenes.
- Be careful who you ask for relationship and romance advice from.
- Accountability. Being open, honest. Describing what happened? when it happened? listen to wisdom. Find a good accountability partner, who you can trust.
What are you waiting for by Dannah Gresh? (amazon)Chapter 11: The Line: What level of touching and Kissing is ok? How far is too far? Dannah discussed how a youth pastor said anything above the belt line is ok, yet going above is still dangerous territory. A kiss can be sweet and innocent or dangerously seductive (p. 111). You can feel a connection, a spark, or some strong sexual chemistry. How about fondling? God wants you to be exclusive not just in what you let a guy touches with his hands, but in what he caresses with his eyes as well (p. 115). Cover yourself up. I am guilty of showing lots of boobie cleavage in public.
Each touch or fondle or grope, whatever you call it, can create an emotional connection. Lots of oxytocin released. According to Gresh, Oxytocin can help a woman reach her happy place. It creates desire. How about the imfamous oral sex? Gresh says Oral sex can create an emotional connection as well (p. 117), in addition to STDs. I used to be one of those women, who thought Oral sex was not sex, but hey it got sex in the name.
Gresh also gives a box, which is named: Where is your line? on page 116. It consists of 10 activities. Her directions. Pick a place to draw your line.
- Sexual intercourse
- Oral sex
- Mutual masturbation
- Breast fondling
- The horizontal make-out
- The vertical make-out
- An open mouth kiss
- A soft kiss
- Holding hands
- A steady gaze.
Jennifer LeClaire: A spiritual warrior's guide to defeating Jezebel (book review)
Confessions of Good Christian Girl by Tammy Maltby (Christian Books).
Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal (book review)
- Holding hands
- Light kissing
- French Kissing
- Kissing on neck, ears, or other parts of the body
- Indirect stimulation of breast and genitals
- Manual stimulation of breasts and genitals.
- Oral stimulation of breasts and genitals
- Intercourse/anal sex
Can you do it standing up by Kenny Pugh (amazon)
- Page 38 Don't allow your impatience to convince you to do something which is not in your best interest long-term.
- Put GOD First in every relationship.
- Don't entertain sexual conversations and innuendo.
- If you are friends with an ex-boyfriend or even an ex- sex partner, set additional boundaries if you are in a relationship. The ex can pose a threat to the current relationship.
- Know when it is time to let someone go. If you are committed and they are not, then that's a sign. Stop investing time and energy into someone, who may not be sure who or want they want. Don't settle. Uncommitted relationships are a form of dead weight that can keep you from being all god has designed you to be. (p.59)
- Don't allow yourself to be unequally yoked to someone. To be unequally yoked means to be connected or tied to someone who does not have the same beliefs, desires, and/or goals as you (p. 65)
- No sex. no test driving. (now you knew that was coming, It is a book on celibacy. This is a celibacy blog. Sex can confuse things, like emotions. Wait until marriage. the right marriage. A God-ordained marriage. When you recognize the true value of something, there is no need to test drive or try it out (p. 91).
- Revise and revisit your list of expectations 1x to 2x a year. Look at your life, desires, values, etc. Do not carry the same list for years and decades. Things change, so should your expectations.
- Simply knowing and believing in God is not basis for a relationship. (p. 101). Once again, sharing one trait is not enough to base the relationship on. God should be the foundation, but you still need Godly guidance on picking a mate. If he is wrong for you, then he is wrong for you. Christian or not.
- Kenny does give a solid relationship plan in p. 111. Read the bible. Seek a relationship/marriage mentor. Work on you.