Undateable Part 2

Undateable Part 1:


I realized in church on Sunday, I set out dating with the wrong intentions. As I said in Part 1: I thought if I was having sex, I would be datable. That was wrong. I was fuckable, not dateable. Not too many men want to date, who they are fucking.

Setting out to date because I wanted to have sex was the wrong intention. From the beginning, my mind set was completely wrong. My intentions were not aligned with God. Sex does not equal love. Love does not equal sex. Dating does not mean you are sexing. Having sex does not mean you are dating.

I had a few men, tell me, that they thought we was dating, when we just had sex a few times. I didn't know anymore about them, other than their sexual preferences, but allegedly we was dating.

I always had trouble dating. I like men, but my personality doesn't allow me to consider dating as an option from the jump. For me, now I have to get to know you, then maybe we can meet. Dating is only an option after I get to know you. Versus in the past, we meet, we sex, we delete each other.

Setting out dating with the wrong intentions is probably why my mind is so messed up. I definitely look at things in a different light because of past sexual experiences. Like, I used to get off on taking a man's celibacy. I didn't care if you was celibate or not. If I wanted to have sex with you, I would at least try. Now, I am questioning anyone, who wants to meet me. Maybe they want sex. Maybe they want my celibacy and do me, like I used to do men, in general. I'm looking for those hidden context clues, trying to reveal their true intentions.

For example, the other day, some dude hit me up on Ok Cupid. He gave me his number, but I could not talk on the phone at that time. Kids were acting up and screaming in the background. Then again, I wasn't feeling talking on the phone anyway.

His profile said he wanted a relationship. He not looking for one-night stands. Ok Cupid had also notified me he had read my profile. I guess he didn't read my disclaimers. He wants kids. He was willing to wait for sex up to a point, but not until marriage. He wanted to discuss sex and I did not. If I didn't question his questions, who knows I would have met him, dated him, and either had sex with him prior to marriage or broke up with him. I hate to give up celibacy to any relationship and it does not work out. 4 years is hard to get back. I don't want to start over with every relationship.

Stacie D. Wyatt
@2015 Stacie D. Wyatt/Celibacy Diaries