Celibacy Diaries: Interview Series: Part 1: Interview with Keisha

Welcome to Celibacy Diaries. I thought of interviewing people about their celibacy, abstinence, or virginity a few months ago, but the idea did not cement until I enrolled in New Media Journalism at Full Sail University. 

I have posted requests for interviews across social media. I wanted to get different perspectives on how people view celibacy, abstinence, and virginity. I been reading books; articles on websites; and listening to the Celibacy is Sexy conference calls and I have noticed on certain topics, people have different perspectives. I noticed different perspectives on the definition of celibacy; the definition of abstinence; watching porn; and masturbation. Are certain acts ok when you are going without sex? 

The interviews are not a place to offer my insight and opinions, but let others, who are virgins, abstinent, or celibate share their perspective. The posts will be anonymous.

The first interview is with Keisha.

What is your name: Keisha

How long have you been celibate? 9 months

How old are you? 35 years old

How do you handle temptation? 

I usually think of something gross or watch a scary movie. I pray and read my bible during free time. 

What are your boundaries? Limits? 

No need for boundaries or limits. The things I do already work for me. 

What are your support systems?

My support system has been God. 

Do you have an accountability partner? 

I have a boyfriend. We have been dating almost two years. I started being celibate after the first year of dating him. He thought I was bluffing, but he has been supportive. I guess the question is should be how is he doing it? lol Or is he?

How long are you willing to wait to have sex again? 

The amount of time has increased with age with me. There is something about knowing your worth , which makes it worth it. I am waiting until I am in a committed, engaged, relationship. People date, but this does not mean they are marriage material. On that note, why give your body to someone, who you will not marry? You should never go below 6 months, I think. These days, most relationships won't last that long without sex. I can wait as long as I have to. It was not always that way. 

Tips for maintaining celibacy?

1. Stay away from people, who always talk about sex or, who talk about hooking up with different people. 
2. Love and respect the body God has given you. 
3. Don't be tempted to engage in random sex. 
4. Think future life partner and not temporary pleasure

What is your definition of abstinence? celibacy? virginity?

1. Abstinence: ...refraining from any act, that provides enjoyment
2. Celibacy: refraining from any sexual contact with others, until marriage
3. Virginity: A woman being in a clean, pure, state, who never experienced any form of sexual pleasure through penetration. 

Are certain acts ok during abstinence and celibacy? (Masturbation, Heavy Kissing, Heavy Petting, etc).

I can't really say kissing or heavy petting is okay if you want to remain celibate. It can bring frustration, and then it's only a matter a time before someone gives in to the rest. Which is why my love says one day soon... one day soon...(laughs)

What changes have you noticed in your spiritual, mental, or physical life since you stopped having sex?

Since being celibate, I have had more dreams. I never dreamed so much in my life. It's weird and sometimes scary. I sense things, which I could not do before. It seems I can see people and things around me for who they truly are now. This is why it is best to wait and date for months before hopping into bed with someone. You will see a lot clearer if you just wait. 

What books, websites, and materials, do you use for support and help?

If it wasn't for God's good book, the bible..It's all the support I need. 

Final Remarks:

I would like to thank Keisha for participating in this interview. I hope more people will participate in future interviews. Please leave a comment. Also, like Celibacy Diaries on Facebook.

If you are interested in doing an interview for Celibacy Diaries, please email me at wyattstacie @ gmail dot com. You must be living a virgin, celibate, or abstinent lifestyle. I may expand the series to people, who are having sex to get their perspectives as well, in the future.