I hate being single during the holidays Part 2: My thoughts

While listening to Monday's call, I realized I do get lonely at times, but it isn't seasonal, I think. Then again, I'm not really trying to date right now until my divorce is final.

So, here are my personal thoughts:

I was lonely during my marriage and I do get lonely separated, depending on what's going on in my life. Maybe the kids are acting up and I may think, I need someone to calm down one child, while I calm down the other. One recent episode of loneliness occurred during my first visit at my current church. After the morning service, I joined the church. The church had transportation, a nursery, and a special needs program.

After I talked to one of the people in the back, she asked me if I was single or married. I was honest and said separated. She decided to walk me to a marrieds class. Separation is married. yay me. No offense to marrieds, but I felt out of place. Some couples was celebrating their anniversaries and other highs. No one really discussed the lows. I didn't feel comfortable discussing marriage, when I was contemplating divorce. Luckily, my kids got me paged every 10 minutes or so, so I didn't have to sit through the whole class. Sunday School usually lasts 40 minutes to an hour. The next time, I came, I went to a class, based on age versus relationship status. I wish she put me in that class to begin with. When I am not in a specialty class, I am in my age class. Currently, I am taking Managing Money God's way. When you are in the wrong mindset, things won't work. I don't feel single, yet I don't feel married. I feel separated. I am in limbo. Where is the group for people in limbo?


I don't want to participate in a singles group at church, especially if they never been married. A different mindset exists between those, who never been married, and those, who have been married before. Some days, I don't want to hear about the joys of marriage, but I also don't want to hear about people being single.  I never thought about getting married before getting married. Yet, I got married at 19 anyway, even though I was not ready. Wrong mindset.

If you want to get married, and spend your life with someone, you need the right mindset and attitude. You need a level of maturity to handle the challenges, which will occur. No getting around that. problems will occur during marriage. I would recommend praying first and getting guidance from God. I ignored the red flags. I ignored a possible sign from God. Like Pugh said, during the chat. Be Prepared.  I was not prepared.

Stacie D. Wyatt

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