What are you waiting for?

I am currently reading, What are you waiting for by Dannah Gresh.. I read one of her other books, prior to this and I loved it. I chose the book because it focuses on celibacy, purity, and God's design for sex.  I bought the book from Amazon last week (paperback). The paperback was on sale and cheaper than the Kindle (way cheaper 4.99). The price is back to 8.98 now. Kindle is 7.99.

The book is not for the meek, the shy, the closed minded. Gresh talks openly about sex and sex-related issues. Gresh discusses porn, masturbation, homosexuality, friends with benefits, and finding love. All of this was written from a Christian perspective. I am trying to read more books about sexuality from a Christian perspective. So much information is out there, but I want to know what God says.

The author starts out discussing her marriage--from dating to the proposal. Dannah also discussed how her old boss encouraged her to have sex and even wanted to buy condoms. She discusses how she felt conflicted between sexual freedom and sexual purity. One side says to indulge in sex and the other side says indulge in God. The battle between the spirit and flesh is a tough one. Sure, I think about sex, but I am not trying to rush back into having sex. Celibacy is hard, but it's where I need to be right now.

Dannah also discusses sex in the bible. Yada is the Hebrew word for sex. Not just any sex, "to know, to be known, to be deeply respected" (p. 17). Yada is intimate sex with someone, who truly knows you (like a husband). Yada adds a level of emotional intimacy to sex. No secrets, and nothing is held back (p. 24). Mind-body-soul connection. Yada is used more than 900 times in the Hebrew Bible. Yada does not only apply to sex, but it applies to a relationship with God. God wants to be known and respected. He wants us to seek him and follow after him with a pure heart. He does not want us to fall for counterfeit love (p. 27)

On the other hand, Shakab means sexual intercourse. Shakab is frequently used with Sikba, which means emission (p. 30). Shakab also means exchange of fluids. This is a form of counterfeit love. Having sex with someone to simply exchange fluids. This is the dirty, disgusting, yucky, awkward, shameful types of sex (p. 31). I had a lot of this type of sex and very little (or none) Yada sex. 

Finally, I started reading the chapter on Masturbation first. This was the main reason I bought the book. The bible does not offer direct teaching on masturbation (p. 72). The bible tells us not to commit adultery, which is a sin. If you look after another with lust in your heart, you are committing adultery. This may involve pornography or staring at half-naked people online (I have left groups on Facebook because of the half-naked, tempting men photos). Masturbation can also hinder our relationship with God and people. It can become addictive (which was true for me). It also may cause shame. It also can affect future relationships, such as it can rob your future husbands (or husbands) ability to please you (p. 78). The book also discusses getting an accountability partner to help you with purity, celibacy , masturbation ,and other sexual issues.

Have not finished the book yet, but will post more on things, which can help others, was well as myself on both blogs (Perfect Chaos and Celibacy Diaries).