Sample Purity Pledge (From Dating and the Single Parent)

Sample Purity Pledge from Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal (Appendix 2, pp. 225 to 229). This is mostly word for word from the book. I did not want to change much and lose the meaning.

"We believe Sex is a gift from God to be enjoyed in the context of marriage, and that he had our best in mind when he gave us strong directives about sexual purity before marriage. There are many benefits to staying sexually pure before marriage:"

• You will please God
• You will develop a better conviction on who God is working in your relationship
• You build trust, which is necessary for intimacy and lifetime commitment. 
• You will develop patience and self-control
• You affirm you care for the other person more than self. 
• You protect self from guilt and shame
• You provide an example to children and others
• You protect self from physical, mental, and emotional trauma, which occurs when the relationship ends
• You can develop a stronger emotional and spiritual bond. 
• Improvement in communication skills
• Prevent unwanted pregnancy (and STDs)
• Increase anticipation and excitement of wedding night
• Experience blessing of obedience
• Learn new things about your partner, other than sex
• As a Christian, you maintain a witness to the world
• As a Christian, you avoid bringing reproach on the name of Christ. 

Other points made: 

• sex can slow down relationship growth by causing emotional confusion and distracting from participating in activities, which can strengthen the relationship. 
• Sex is not the foundation of a great marriage. 
• Sexual purity means more than not having intercourse, but being morally excellent. It means avoiding the appearance of evil. It means protecting one's innocence from being tarnished by actions. 

Appropriate and inappropriate physical actions: Consider making a commitment to stay between points 1 and 4

1. holding hands
2. hugging
3. light kissing
4. french kissing
5. kissing on neck, ears, and other parts of the body
6. indirect stimulation of breasts and/ genitals
7. manual stimulation of breasts and/or genitals
8. oral stimulation of breasts and/or genitals
9. intercourse/anal sex.

If you exceed #4

• confess sins to the Lord and repent (Psalms 51: 3-4)
• Confess and seek forgiveness from partner
• inform your mentor couple (within 24 hours. The male will contact his male mentor. If he does not do so, then the woman will contact her female mentor). 

Develop a pledge based on these guidelines. One sample pledge may be (p. 218). 

We pledge to hold our relationship to a biblical standard so the Lord might bless this relationship and in the many years ahead. Therefore, we agree to call our mentors if physical involvement goes beyond step #4