June 3rd, 2013

I was listening to a teleconference on celibacy yesterday and the speaker was talking about journaling your celibacy thoughts and issues for the rest of the month. It is national celibacy month. Yay. I don't know how well I will do writing daily. I hate forced writing. it does not come out right. I failed at National Novel Writing Month (NANOWRIMO) and NANOWRIMO Camp(forgot to even start). I also did not go well with Rude Mom's challenge to write for May.

So, anyway, currently I am skimming through a few books on celibacy:

1. Tempted, Tested, True by Arnie Cole and Michael Ross (review)
2. What are you waiting for by Dannah Gresh (paid for via amazon)
3. Bare naked truth by Bekah Hamrick Martin (review for litfuse)
4. Clean by Douglass Weiss (review for blogging for books)
5. Dating and the Single Parent (can't think of the author right now, but it is a good book. has a great section on creating a purity pledge. appropriate touches during dating, etc

I am also more than halfway through my celibacy course (settingcaptivesfree.com). I want to be a mentor, but I think I will take the eating addiction course next, instead of being a mentor. 

So Celibacy,have not had sex since November 9, 2010. My son's birthday. I had offers, but turned them down. I do have a great BS meter, when people are wanting sex, but afraid to say it, I guess it comes from having a lot of sex. too much sex. nymphomaniac. So glad my phone has a block feature for people, who text me first. 

Some signs people want sex or thinking of sex or something sexual related (based on personal experiences)

1. Ask for naked pics, sexy pics, or xxx pics. Of course some get mad when you stay HEY IM CELIBATE. I don't do that anymore. Some will try to talk to into it, but I am one of those people, who is firm in what she does and don't want to do. 
2. Text or Call wanting to chill. (code word for sex). Maybe, they want to come over at 2 am(knowing I live with a house full of heathens, children, and my mama). 
3. Send you a pic of their penis to inspire you (unless I sexed you previously and you were one of the great ones, penis pics does nothing). Pics do not equal skills. 
4. Tell you God wants you to have sex with them because they are a good man
5. Tells you God wants you to masturbate and buy new toys. 
6. We are grown. We can do what grown people do. No reason to stay celibate. 
7. And my favorite: When you want to have sex or think about sex, call me first. Yeah Ok, if I wanted to have sex right now, with anyone, I will be on the next greyhound or megabus to Marietta, Georgia (provided he moved back. That bald headed, chocolate man was my first addicktion). 

But I think I want more than a casual screw. More than a one-night rendezvous. Something more than what I used to get. More than some sweaty, cum-filled sheets, with some man, I will forget or delete in a week. Because I know me. If I get started, I have no idea if he will be the only one or the last one. Could start me back into a spiral destruction of sexual doom. but anyway, let's see about me blogging to Celibacy diaries daily.