July 18, 2010 Im not having sex until.......

This was the second half of what I wrote, but I felt a separate post was needed

I'm not having sex until: What is your purpose for being celibate, abstinent, or not getting any.

1. Waiting for the right one: (marriage, relationship, or to put up with stupidity. Maybe to satisfy you sexually until................. (fill in the blank)
2. Too many STDs out there (which is true, BUT you still need to educate yourself and get tested regularly. Just because you are committed does not mean the other person is committed. I got herpes while being faithful. Of course, my life changed completely once I cheated back. Next, some STDS are passive until something triggers it. Third, other people are carriers. 
3. I don't want to get pregnant or make babies. (Good reason, but one slip-up, Baby).
4. I don't believe in casual sex. (Good Reason but stick with it). Don't be one of those folks, who say I don't believe in casual sex, but engages in casual sex on a regular basis, no matter how infrequent. It can hurt your testimony.

I had a friend, like that. I was having a lot of casual sex when we met. When I got pregnant with Kalen in 2010, he basically ended a close friendship because I was having casual sex, even with my soon-to-be-ex-husband. He was disappointed in something I had been doing for years and years and years. Yet, at this point, I had not had sex in five or six months.  He condemned me. Then, he had casual sex. I lost my respect somewhat for him. I felt hurt big time that he condemned me for having casual sex and getting prego (both kids have the same father), yet he can do the same thing and wants acceptance. I can't stand double standards.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another story, another friend.Back in 07, I was staying with my sister. A friend stayed down the street. WE both was sexually active with multiple partners.

YET

I was a whore because I had multiple partners (maybe 3 at that time), but he was a hero because he had three partners, but they all knew about each other (and sometimes partaken of one another simultaneously). I, on the other hand, never told a casual partner, he was the only one. There was no need. Most of them was one-night stands. Hit it and delete. I also did not need to partake of all my regulars at the same time, simultaneously.

I been in that situation before. You do a two-on-one or a more-on-one, someone will be disappointed--whether me or one of them. Everyone does not sex the same.

Have you ever heard this line from a man?

Why didn't you do this the same way you did him?

Well, I have. LMAO at Equality. Some men do get insecure, especially during a group session. I can not always tell them, Well if you did what he did (or better), then you can get what he got (or better). Sex is not always a fair game. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.

Here are some more insights from Stacie:

• "Friends" will leave because you won't sex them. 
• "Friends" will condemn you for doing the same thing they are doing
• "Friends" will want XXX pics or videos, even if you are platonic and have no interest in sexing them. 
• Great sex doesn't always last (otherwise, I will still be with my favorite IT geek, in Marietta). Great sex does not have a strong relationship foundation. 
• Love does not equal lust but it can feel like it and can lead to heartbreak. 

To conclude this post:

Not everyone will understand why I am celibate, especially when they know my past. In life, you will make mistakes and regrets. You can either learn from them and change for the better, the worse, or not at all. 

Yeah, I still could be having lots and lots of sex, but 1) who will watch my kids because I'm not bringing them with me and not leaving them at home alone or with these heathens (and my mama). Sex buddies don't need to meet or interact with Brad and Kalen. Brad and Kalen don't need to interact with penises. Yes, penises because when I was active, I thought of most men as a penis, an available penis. The only head I was interested in was down below. I may show enough interest in the penis to get some sex. If I showed more, either I had a crush on the dude; liked his penis; or wanted to make a mold of his penis, bronze it, engrave it, and place it in the Hall of Great Sex Partners, in my mind. 

and 2) What happens next?